im not sure what to do or how to do it

lets say im at a loss now i feel unappreciated useless worthless and lazy but these arent just my thoughts my dh stays away b/c of my moods (hes told me so) i find his ex calling his cell phone and he quickly gets off the phone with her telling her its his days off somethign tells me i made a wrong turn somewheres and we aint in kansas anymore im still unsure what to do for all i care i think the marriage was over before it started i just want to know what to do

Hard work really does pay off

Ive been in my step sons life since he was 2 1/2 yrs old. He is now 9 1/2 yrs old. Thats 7 yrs of hard work on my part. Caring for him, displining him, and trying to do my best to raise him right with the help of his dad. Since we all know his mother ,well can I really say what I think about her here? Lets just call her the deadbeat mom for nice terms. Since ive been in his life. She may have had him in her possesion about 1-2 FULL months. Well my story goes about this past mothers day. When *gasp* I was thought of first. What you say? How could I be thought of first ? All these years when he was able to make something for mothers day or any holiday really. His deadbeat always was thought of first. (sometimes I never got anything)She always got a card or something made for her(even if she never showed up to get him).That is understanable. But this year it was different he made 1 for me and ONLY me. Of course she called up on saturday and said she wanted him on mothers day. Which was funny b/c when he was told about her coming. He scrambled to make something for her. Im so freakin proud maybe now I have that higher ranking :)

Where to start ?

Bare with me this is a vent more like it. Im not sure where to start. Where to go. My mortgage company decides to call this morning. Telling me the 2 months I am due for (April and May). Need to be paid in full by the 31st of May. Ok that gives me 23 days to come up with $1245.84 just for them.Im sorry but my money tree never really started growing. Can you hang on a minute? Seriously do they think they are the ONLY bill I have? For the record this month left to pay I have 5 other bills. Does anyone have a huge money tree I can get some trimings off of? Because thats the only way they will help me if I "exhaust all my other options" first. WTH me telling you I have had major surgery and im not yet released doesnt help? I cant just go out and get a job like you think. I seen a girl had almost the same surgery(she had the da vinci cut instead which is 4-5 small cuts oppesed to my 1 long cut). The day before me and she just ripped open her internal stiches. So yeah im not getting a job yet to hold me back further on recovery. Then I go to my dr and he starts talking if nothing helps. We might do more surgery to take out the overies. This is how the hysterctomy started. Next thing I knew within a week or 2 I was getting it done. Something tells me same thing gonna happen. I dont think me and menopause will mix well poor kids and hubby.Well maybe not hubby he desrves it lol :)

yep ive ignored it

im working on this seriously i want to blog just i need to get my life back where it was i am 3 1/2 weeks post op feeling pretty good too no pain since about wk 2 now i have my black outs and i assume cyst pain i get to deal with then hopefully ill be back to 100% till then give me a minute :)

zoo pics

For some unusual reason my husband sister in law and I. Have all decided we were taking my 3 kids and my sister in laws little brother to the zoo. I have some great pics and interesting stories. About 1/2 way through Haley (sister in law) and I both "lost " or cameras stupid rechargables died (mine were freshly recharged) we ended up finding a store "around" the corner and made up for lost time although my camera was the only one working after buying a 4 pack of batteries for $10 ouch. Please enjoy the pics.